Feeling beautiful on the outside?

When I sat down to consider what or who makes me feel beautiful on the outside, it’s not hard at all. First and foremost, my boyfriend, Brian, makes me feel beautiful every day. But, other than him, makeup of course! Sitting down and having that time to myself to work on my makeup for however long it takes me is treasured by me and makes me feel beautiful. Not because I don’t think not wearing makeup makes a woman any less beautiful, it doesn’t, but it’s my thing and it works for me. There was actually a period of 2 years where I was too sick to put on my makeup and I went out and did normal activities whenever I could anyway. I know makeup is not the end all. But after going without it for so long, boy do I appreciate it now! I appreciate everything I missed out on in makeup while I was sick. It may seem materialistic now but I had doctors testing me for terminal illnesses up until this past January when I got the all clear. My doctor said my PET scan came back normal, go have fun! So, give me a Tom Ford palette please. And thank you!

So, yeah, I feel beautiful and alive. I unabashedly love makeup, my boyfriend, my family and not in that order. I find coincidence in the fact that the moment I’m ready to get outside and play and rejoin the world, the world gets thrown into hiding from a deadly disease. It’s hard for me to feel any sympathy for anyone who is having trouble staying inside during this time when I spent the last three years of my life indoors fighting for my life and coming way to close a couple times to a death sentence or a hospital stay that didn’t end well. I, however, really sympathize with anyone who’s lost anyone or sick and stuck inside. It’s really not healthy for those people to not be surrounded by loved ones. Thinking about those who are losing or who have lost or endured during this horrible time. And to those brave healthcare workers, who I used to be apart of, my condolences for what you are enduring. I can not thank them enough for being there. Their bravery is unprecedented and unmatched.

There’s a lot of different kinds of beauty out there right now that I see. Even though I’m disabled, I get to see a lot more! Life is a really beautiful thing if you can look past all the imperfections.

Daily Routine

To begin, I’m 38 years young. My morning makeup routine is not for the faint of heart. Lol. It’s not for the 30-minute girl by any stretch of the imagination. So, I will go over it step-by-brutal-step.

1. Use Philosophy Peeling Mousse 2-3 times per week. https://www.philosophy.com/renewed-hope-peeling-mousse.html?ecid=s:goo:s:x:hero:b:na:943454270&utm_source=google&utm_term=philosophy

2. Use Wander Beauty Lift Off Purifying and
Brightening Peel Off Mask daily. https://www.wanderbeauty.com/lift-off-purifying-and-brightening-peel-off-mask

3. Use Garnier SkinActive Purifying Oil-Free Towelettes with Charcoal daily. https://www.garnierusa.com/about-our-brands/skinactive/charcoal/purifying-oil-free-cleansing-towelettes-with-charcoal

4. Lancôme Advanced Genifique Youth Activating Concentrate daily. https://www.lancome-usa.com/skin-care/collections/genifique/advanced-genifique-face-serum/1000302.html#GeoRedirectOff=undefined&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIh7Kv0obL6QIV_P_jBx2g9AIqEAAYASAAEgJbRfD_BwE&start=1&cgid=L3_Axe_Skincare_Genifique

5. La Mer the Eye Concentrate daily. https://m.cremedelamer.com/product/20652/74983/face/eye-treatments/the-eye-concentrate#/sku/115246

6. La Mer Moisturizing Cream daily. https://m.cremedelamer.com/product/5834/22929/moisturizers/the-moisturizing-soft-cream/face-cream-for-dry-skin#/sku/44193

After this, the routine varies by day. So, today’s went like this…

7. Lorac Behind the Scenes Eye Primer. https://www.ulta.com/behind-scenes-eye-primer?productId=xlsImpprod1840063&sku=2214801&&catargetid=330000200002232594&CAPCID=430495604869&CATCI=dsa-896513123888&CAAGID=98772994023&CADevice=m&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIg-KnionL6QIVkxatBh059QomEAAYASAAEgL4oPD_BwE

8. Too Faced HangoveRx Replenishing Face Primer. https://m.toofaced.com/product/23476/59042/face-makeup/primers/hangover-primer?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIs5qLwIrL6QIV8wl9Ch1i0wWAEAAYASAAEgJe6fD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

9. Tarte Shape Tape Contour Concealer in 12N Fair Neutral. https://tartecosmetics.com/shop/makeup/face/concealer/shape-tape-concealer/836.html

10. Lancôme Teint Idole Ultra Wear in 210 Buff N. https://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/face/foundation/teint-idole-ultra-24h-long-wear-foundation/1000554.html#GeoRedirectOff=undefined&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8KjlpIzL6QIVvP7jBx2YawWTEAAYASAAEgK-BPD_BwE&start=1&cgid=L3_MakeUp_Face_Foundation

11. Ciate London Extraordinary Translucent Powder. https://us.ciatelondon.com/products/extraordinary-translucent-setting-powder

12. Gigi Gorgeous Cosmetics The Sick Sculpt Bronzer Duo: Turnt + Extra. https://www.amazon.com/Gorgeous-Sculpt-Bronzer-Turnt-Extra/dp/B0816ZVVK1&ved=2ahUKEwjd2fXFkMvpAhXRu54KHYkyB1QQFjAAegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw0PdojGmUkrc9j-EoADnfTe

13. Maelle Beauty Cheeky Blush. https://www.maellebeauty.com/products/cheeky-blush

14. RealHer Confidence in My Glow Highlighter. https://www.realher.com/products/highlighter

15. E.L.F. Instant Lift Brow Pencil in Neutral Brown. https://www.elfcosmetics.com/instant-lift-brow-pencil/200078.html

16. PAT McGRATH LABS MTHRSHP Subliminal Platinum Bronze Eye Palette. https://www.patmcgrath.com/collections/mini-eye-shadow-palettes/products/mthrshp-subliminal-platinum-bronze?variant=3156883603480

17. Lancôme Paris Le Crayon Khol Eyeliner in Black Ebony. https://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/eyes/eyeliners-and-pencils/le-crayon-khol/138847.html#GeoRedirectOff=undefined&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIsN2e_qLL6QIVEz2tBh3HpADLEAAYASAAEgJ0OfD_BwE&start=3&cgid=L3_MakeUp_Eyes_Eyeliners_And_Eye_Pencils

18. Lancôme Paris Cils Booster XL Enhancing Vitamin-Infused Mascara Primer. https://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/eyes/mascara-primer/cils-booster-xl-enhancing-lash-primer/990604.html##crl8-gallery

19. NARS Climax Mascara in Explicit Black. https://www.narscosmetics.com/USA/explicit-black-climax-mascara/999NAC0000086.html

20. Tarte Lights, Camera, Splashes Waterproof Mascara. https://tartecosmetics.com/shop/makeup/eyes/mascara/lights-camera-splashes-waterproof-mascara/7.html

21. Gerard Cosmetics Lip Pencil in Ecstasy. https://gerardcosmetics.com/ecstasy-lip-pencil/

22. OFRA Cosmetics Long Lasting Liquid Lipstick in Oh My Ry Ry. https://www.ofracosmetics.com/products/ofra-x-madison-miller-liquid-lipstick-oh-my-ry-ry



A little about me besides the obvious that I love makeup. My mantra is never to give up. No matter what happens to you along the way. Life is going to be extremely hard. It’s not supposed to be easy. When I was 12, my mom died of breast cancer but she never gave up fighting for her life. A few months later, her mother, my beloved grandmother also died. A few months later, I was gifted a stepmom and two stepsisters. I felt like Cinderella at times, always knowing I wasn’t her daughter.

Nothing ever came easy for me. I was bullied all the way through junior high and high school because my father was the high school principal. I was bullied not just by other students but by teachers and staff who didn’t like my dad. It never stopped me from participating in sports, clubs, musicals, cheerleading, and volunteering. I always put my best foot forward and always finished my task. But being a perfectionist in high school broke me in college. College was hard. I had a lot of financial pressure of my own doing put on myself. So, I worked more than I studied. My graded suffered those first two years. I also always took the maximum amount of allowed classes each quarter/semester. I put too much pressure on myself. But, I didn’t give up or quit, and I graduated in four years at a great university. The final example I will give of how I follow my mantra is more recent. I was a stockbroker for about 6 and a half years but during that time, I suffered from debilitating migraines. I was on a combination of medicine for approximately seven years, one of which gave me severe, permanent tremors. When I was showing the debilitating signs of this Parkinsonian disease this medicine has left me with, I had switched to my dream job of cardiovascular research and published my first paper (https://stemcells.imedpub.com/cellbased-therapy-of-ischemic-heart-failure.php?aid=11224#corr). I’m now completely disabled but not stopped. I will never give up.