When I sat down to consider what or who makes me feel beautiful on the outside, it’s not hard at all. First and foremost, my boyfriend, Brian, makes me feel beautiful every day. But, other than him, makeup of course! Sitting down and having that time to myself to work on my makeup for however long it takes me is treasured by me and makes me feel beautiful. Not because I don’t think not wearing makeup makes a woman any less beautiful, it doesn’t, but it’s my thing and it works for me. There was actually a period of 2 years where I was too sick to put on my makeup and I went out and did normal activities whenever I could anyway. I know makeup is not the end all. But after going without it for so long, boy do I appreciate it now! I appreciate everything I missed out on in makeup while I was sick. It may seem materialistic now but I had doctors testing me for terminal illnesses up until this past January when I got the all clear. My doctor said my PET scan came back normal, go have fun! So, give me a Tom Ford palette please. And thank you!
So, yeah, I feel beautiful and alive. I unabashedly love makeup, my boyfriend, my family and not in that order. I find coincidence in the fact that the moment I’m ready to get outside and play and rejoin the world, the world gets thrown into hiding from a deadly disease. It’s hard for me to feel any sympathy for anyone who is having trouble staying inside during this time when I spent the last three years of my life indoors fighting for my life and coming way to close a couple times to a death sentence or a hospital stay that didn’t end well. I, however, really sympathize with anyone who’s lost anyone or sick and stuck inside. It’s really not healthy for those people to not be surrounded by loved ones. Thinking about those who are losing or who have lost or endured during this horrible time. And to those brave healthcare workers, who I used to be apart of, my condolences for what you are enduring. I can not thank them enough for being there. Their bravery is unprecedented and unmatched.
There’s a lot of different kinds of beauty out there right now that I see. Even though I’m disabled, I get to see a lot more! Life is a really beautiful thing if you can look past all the imperfections.